Welcome to my Asylum!

A place to empty my head of the random musing and mumblings that populate it on a daily basis.

Tuesday 31 May 2011

Gypsy's, Tiara's and Shoreside Shenanigans

OK, so I watched Toddlers and Tiara's on TLC last year with a mixture of "I know Freyja would LOVE to do a pagent" and "OMG, these mothers are crazy!!".

We all meet them at the dance classes or sporting event, that mother who is living vicariously through their child, and maybe its just the ones they chose on these shows that are the worst, but make good TV, but OMG these mothers are crazy!!

I am not a thin woman myself, but watching these women who seems to average about 350 pounds, strutting about to show their kids what to do in their performance and then watching 3 and 4 year olds pout and gyrate made me wonder - is that what pagents are really about?  Has anyone on here been in them or had kids/friends in them?  Are they that crazy or is it just the ones in Alabama?  ;)

And talking of pouting and gyrating 3 year olds, did anyone catch TLC's show on Gypsy Weddings?  Having grown up in the UK, I have seen travellers come and go near my home (some used to race horses up the road outside my parents house every sunday morning, and come to get water for them from our hose).  I have nothing against them and frankly think that as long as they are being productive members of society, who cares how long they live in one place - frankly, I've moved more than your average gypsy in the last 7 years - And its got to be easier just moving your home each time instead of the contents of a 3 bed house, so they are smarter than me there.  BUT, OMG (again), they are crazy (again)!!!  Dresses that can barely get down the aisle because they are so big, but despite the massive skirts the brides still seem underdressed.  The female guests look like an act from a seedy Vegas strip joint, and the little girls are emulating them.

They are getting married at 16/17 after a courtship than seems to involve a boy/man, grabbing them by the hair and demanding a kiss.  If she gives in and kisses him, she'd better hope he wants to marry her or she's ruined for life.  They all dance like they have an invisible pole, the little girls too, and the 7 year olds are dressed for confirmation at church in what can only be described as a Vegas stipper style mini wedding / pagent dress gone wrong.  Some of the dresses are twice the size and weight of the girls wearing them.  And all of this is done with the words "Gypsy tradition" or "Traveller tradition" - sorry, but I don't remember any Romanies of old being described as wearing an 80 pound, pink tulle wedding dress with plastic butterflies and LED flashing lights!!

Flashing Lights brings me on to my last muse/rant.  The lights are on and flashing but there is no-one home...
We've all heard about Jersey Shore, some of us have been unfortunate enough to have watched an episode, some people apparently even torture themselves by watching it on a daily basis.  My understanding is that it is full of the stereotypical Italian American Jerseyite, with orange fake tan, bouffant hair, fake eyelashes and their own body weight in makeup (boys too) but not too much upstairs.  Well, someone in the UK apparently decided the concept was too good to pass up so we now have Geordie Shore.

For those not familiar, a "Geordie" is someone who lives in the viscinity of Newcastle upon Tyne in the the North East of England.  That is where I was born and raised, so I am a Geordie, as is my better half and all our families.  Now, Newcastle has received a bit of a reputaion over the last few years and has become a place for stag parties and hen parties (stagettes) to go for a weekend of fun.  Lots of bars and hotels, nightclubs and dancing to the wee small hours.  However, with this has come a reputation of the girls being 'easy' and the boys being drunk and fighting all the time.  Add to the mix a few years of Big Brother with a Geordie contestant (male or female) who appears to have little brains, fake tan, loves themselves very much and is false and an easy lay, and wave bye bye to any remaining good rep.

So now there is hardly any good reputaion left, despite these idiots only making up a small percent of the population (there are 2 universities in the city, a medical and dental school, copious museums and theatres - so there is plenty of learning and culture), the powers that be have decided to put the last nail in the coffin with "Geordie Shore".  Being in Canada, I can't get it on TV, but the facebook updates from my friends on premiere night alone tell me how bad it was - put it this way, one of my friends sent me a message telling me how lucky I was to be living abroad as I would likely die of shame if still there!!    So I would like to proclaim to all those who have not yet visited the fair city of Newcastle, with its culture, restaurants, history and architecture - don't let these perma-tanned prats put you off going - we're not all like that....really!!!

That is all......

Wednesday 18 May 2011

Raaphy the Roadie..

My better half, Lee, is known by many friends back in the UK as Raaphy.  This is because he, and numerous friends, went to a party at a pub back home dressed as pensioners, christened themselves with suitable 'old man' and 'old lady' names familiar to the North East of England (Anthony became Geordie, Neil became Jack and Lee became Raaphy or Raaph) - the ladies were Hilda, Ethel and the like.

For some reason the names stuck and Lee and his 2 best mates (above mentioned) are still known as Geordie, Jack and Raaphy.  I am "Raaphy's Lass".  I have never called him this, in fact I down right refused to, but now it has become a private little game where he tries to trick me into saying it - he's only managed once so far - I have stood resiliant.

Anyway, way back when, Anthony's brother was in a band called The Chasers, along with Neil, and Lee acted as a Roadie for them (Raaphy the Roadie).  It is many moons ago, before I even met him, but Lee has always wanted to do it again.  Now, Neil is going on tour in the US with the Angelic Upstarts, a punk band from home, and they are stopping in Seattle, which is only about an hour or so away on a plane from Calgary.

Apparently there is room on the tour bus for Raaphy the Roady, and Lee is like a kid in a sweet shop - so excited.  I will miss him if he heads off, obviously, but he has been working so hard for the last few years with little time off, and lately has been doing loads of overtime, for which he is accruing time in lieu, so he deserves to use some of that well earned time for some fun and games with the lads in the US of A.  I just hope he doesn't get arrested.....

The best laid plans oft gan awry... or something like that...

Robbie Burns said it the right way, I apologise for my misquote if anyone ever reads this and is offended by my lack of detail.

I have been going through my to do list and there was a very important point on there, write a letter to my father.  Now, to clarify, my dad and I are very close and it was very hard for both my parents when we chose to move from the UK to Canada as I had always been pretty much 15-20 minutes drive away (well, once I finally moved out of the family home).  I had always been a real home body so it came as quite a shock that the girl who spent her first 3 months at university crying down the phone to my dad about homesickness, should decide to up and move half way around the world.

Its been 4 1/2 years now that we have been here and I talk to my parents every weekend by phone or skype (I cannot express how bloody wonderful skype is - just a shame my crappy laptop keeps crashing mid call!).  Dad has sent me 4 or 5 letters in that time, and I have sent zero (yep, zilch, nada, diddley - Bad, bad daughter!!)  So, yesterday I wrote him a letter full of how much I love him and miss him, how grateful I am for his support (and my mother too, but the letter is for him) and how lucky I feel to have him as my dad.  Then I typed said letter as I realised I could not read my own writing, so pity help my poor dad trying.  I am out of practice writing by hand (damn email and facebook!!)

Anyhow, I find my stamps yesterday evening and bounce merrily down to the reception at work, shiny white envelope brimming with love in hand, to pop in the mail, only to be informed that Canada Post are going on strike next week and it may last for anything between 2 weeks and 6 months!!!  Anyone with anything going out of the city itself may as well not even bother putting it in the mail as it will be stopped and quite possibly lost in a big basket somewhere for months...... Gah!!  Why NOW!!!

BOLLOCKS!!!! What the F#*K do they think they are doing?  I have a letter I need to go!  Now I understand the issues the staff are having, and I am fully in support of peoples right to strike when faced with sub standard pay or working conditions, but did they have to decide to do it when I have finally written my letter?  I wonder, if I sent them a nice message requesting they leave it for 2 weeks, would they hold off until my dad has his letter...... probably not huh!?!

Tuesday 17 May 2011

Blog Hopping....

So, if I understand the system correctly, the best way to aquire a following for your own blog is to start following other peoples.  With this in mind, I clicked the Next Blog link and I have been amazed/confused/worried by the connections the system found for me.

First I got shot to an uber-religious site - not a big issue - not for me but each to their own.  However, when I clicked to skip, I got another religious site, and another and another.  This went on for over 20 sites until I gave up, clicked on my own blog and started again.

Next it was Quilting blogs (I never knew people could quilt so much! - Half of North America must be knee deep in the things judging by how many blogs there are on the subject).

Back to my blog and try again - this time its everything East Indian - again, not an issue except I am not myself East Indian and therefore did not find them particularly relevant to me.

I think my biggest issue was the religious ones though.  Whilst I am all for freedom of religion and such, I do worry about how the digital age has changed the way fundamentalist groups of all religions and dominations can access people.  The more dubiously intentioned ones can recruit almost without trying, without doing anything that hints at true intentions, and then groom people to do their bidding.  It also scared me that one of the blogs I randomly came across was not in any of the above catagories, but was written by a 14 year old girl in New York.  I'm all for adults blogging about their daily lives, but it scares me that youngsters, female and male, put themselves out there so innocently sharing their thoughts and lives and there are predators out there who will use that information to prey on them.

I love the internet and the access it has given me to all sorts of things, from news and weather, educational information right down to who was that guy who had a bit part in CSI so I can stop trying to remember and get to sleep.  But, at the same time, as a mother of 2 small girls, I also fear where it sometimes takes us.  It is as easy to access inappropriate materials as it is to access any other kind of information ....  I wonder sometimes if we have created a monster...

I'm a big fat failure .... :-)

At keeping up the blog that is!!  I said in my list of things to do that I must write in my blog at least once a week, and here I am almost 3 weeks later!!  Tut tut!

In all fairness, it has been a busy few weeks.  Work is normally pretty much dead at this time of year, but we had a major stock count and then a batch of orders in so I was kept busy and had no time to blog at work - never have time at home during the week because of kidlets, and we have been busy bees at the weekends.

The first weekend after my last blog we headed out on a drive to the mountains and had a family picnic (can check that off my list then!).  We went to a little place near Banff in the Rockies called Johnson Lake.  Freyja flew her kite that her Grandma bought for her last summer, for the first time poor thing, and we played frisbee, in amongst scoffing fruit, veggies, cheese and juice.

A good time was had by all, the lake was still frozen, though starting to thaw in places, and we saw bear tracks in the snow on the lake edge - fantastic (especially as the bear did not decide to join us for the picnic!).  Afterwards, on the road home, we had to stop for some mountain goats crossing the road, one of whom made a stirling effort to get in my drivers window.  Great fun was had by all!

The following weekend was a big one.  Saturday we went to the Circus!!  It was amazing. Freyja thoroughly enjoyed it - amazingly Rosie did too, even though she's so little, and she stayed awake all through it.  Freyja and I even took a ride on the elephant at the intermission in the middle - I nearly dislocated a hip getting on there but it was worth it!  It was a late night for the kids, not getting to bed until 10pm, and then they were rudely awakened at 6.30am as it was MOTHER'S DAY!!  But not just any mothers day.  This one was extra special as it was also our baby girls FIRST BIRTHDAY!!!   Yay!!

We went and did the 5km Mothers Day Walk (with Rosie in the stroller and Freyja in the wagon) and afterwards went home and had a lovely birthday tea for Rosie, with her godparents and their daughter J (Freyja's best friend forever!)  I even got a mothers day breakfast - except I had it for supper!!  With the busy day, my darling hubbie couldn't do it earlier, but I still got my treat of Eggs Benedict (Yum!)

This weekend was marginally less eventful (though not much) - Sunday we went to Heritage Park to the A Day Out with Thomas event (thats Thomas the Tank Engine for those not in the know).  It was a sunny warm morning so off we all went in our summer attire, only to find when we got out of the car there that the wind had changed and now it was blowing hard and freezing.....BRRRRR!!!  We still had a good time though.

Even this week we are pushed for time.  Freyja has Sparks on Tuesday nights, Swimming on Wednesday nights and then this Thursday night they are having a MultiCultural Potluck Dinner at her school.  I am making "Singing Hinnies".  I know that the majority of the worlds population will have no idea what the hell they are so I will enlighten you.  We hail from the North East of England.  People from this region have a variety of regional accents and names (people from Newcastle and the area around are Geordies (pronounced Jordys), those from Sunderland (only 15 miles or so away) are Mackems (most people would say they sound the same but actually their accents are different!  A Singing Hinny is also called a Griddle Scone (thats kind of a tea biscuit to you North Americans).

It is a fruit scone that is cooked on a gridle plate rather than in the oven.  The mixture is made softer than the average scone and it stays quite soft and fluffy on the inside while being crisp and brown on the outside.  The name derives (allegedly) from a young girl asking her mother if they were ready yet, and the mother replies, "no, their just singing, hinny"  Hinny is a local dialect word for Honey or sweetheart.  The scones would 'sing' as the butter on the griddle bubbled under the batter and they made a 'singing' sound.  There you go - a cultural lesson for you!!