Happy Birthday Fidgetty Widget!

When I was pregnant with Freyja, my sister-in-law was expecting at the same time, and the baby who would become Charlotte was known as "Bean".  As "Bean' was no longer a family option for a nickname for our bundle to be, we started calling 'it' "Widget".  This soon became "Fidgetty Widget" as that little baby on board never kept still.  She's been the same ever since.

Today, my little tornado turns 8!  At 4.04pm GMT (9.05am here in Calgary) my little girl moves that step closer to being a woman, and I'm scared!

Its been quite a week in our house, good and also, pretty much as bad as you can get.  At the weekend, she went off to Brownie Camp.  I dropped her off Friday night, and barely managed to get her to stop chatting with her friends long enough to say goodbye to her sister and I, a sign of how grown up and independant she is getting.  When I collected her on Sunday though, I got a huge hug and "I missed you" whispered in my ear.

While she had a great time at camp, impressed the leaders with her enthusiasm and her behaviour, she also missed her family and even had a little cry at night.  While I hate that she was upset, a little part of me is happy that there is enough child in there to still miss a night time hug and kiss.

When she came home on Sunday, she told me how she had been worrying all weekend that I was going and never coming back, that something was going to happen.  Nothing did happen, of course, but my sensitive little girl was maybe picking up something in the cosmos.

On Monday, I got a call from the school asking me to collect Freyja as she was not feeling well.  I left work, went and got her, much to her surprise as she had expected her Daddy, and took her home.  She had a tummy ache that wouldn't go away, so we went through all the questions.  Did you eat your lunch?  Did you eat the fruit or just the bad stuff?  Did you eat properly at camp this weekend?  Did you drink enough water at camp?  How about at school?  Did you go to the bathroom at camp?

The answer to the last question turned out to be 'No" so I figured I had my answer and promptly ordered her to the bathroom with a book to "give it a try".  Success, but still a tummy ache that persisted.  I dutifully set her up in my bed with a glass of water and the TV remote.  I then began making phone calls to find out which of her friends was coming to her party this coming weekend as I hadn't had RSVPs.  "I don't think M is coming" she says as I'm about to call.  I make the call and her Grandma answers, not her Mom, and sure enough M isn't coming.  I tell her she was right.  "I thought she wouldn't because K said today that M's Dad died in a truck accident last week"

Oh My God !!!!!!

There had been a horrific accident involving a tractor trailer on the main route near our home the week before, but it was Easter week, the kids were off school, I hadn't had a chance to read the details and Monday had been their first day back.  I got out my phone, Googled his name, and there it was, an obituary and the date of the crash......

Now I knew why my baby had a tummy ache.  She had been holding that to herself all afternoon, not knowing what to say, or if it was true.  We knew M's dad.  Not well, but enough that he and M's Mom had once come to our house and had food before we all set out Trick or Treating together one Halloween.  We'd see him at school dances and Christmas shows and chat. He was a truly nice, good man, and a wonderful father and husband.

All Monday night, Freyja would ask for hugs and squeeze tightly, she didn't want to go to bed, but finally, after an hour of cajolling, she did and amazingly she slept soundly for a few hours, not waking until around 2am.  I lay with her another hour then, and I am not sure who needed it more, me or her.  She fell asleep again, and slept till morning, waking in that resiliant way that kids do after bad news. 

She went to school Tuesday and I called to tell them we knew what had happened and was told a grief counsellor was going to be with her class that morning.  I wish I'd had one myself as I was a wreck.  We weren't close, but I knew him, I knew the horrible way his life had ended, I knew the confusion and sadness I was feeling were the same feelings my poor girl had, and like me, she was likely imagining "what if it had been her Daddy".

My big girl came home yesterday without mentioning her friend or the grief counsellor, so I mentioned it to her. "Yes" she said "it helped to talk about it. M is coming back to school on Thursday and they said two of her friends should be close to her all the time and go to meet her at the door.  I told them I should be one of them as I have known her longer than anyone, and I knew her Daddy, so I think I will be able to be a good friend and help her feel better."

Only 8 today, off to 'Aggie Days' with the school to see the animals, she will be a kid having fun again, but tomorrow, she will be that mature girl, the shoulder to support her friend.  Saturday, she will be the kid again, enjoying her party, but I know part of her will be thinking about the friend who isn't there, the friend who is at home missing her Daddy. 

My baby isn't a baby any more.  She has kept telling me she didn't want to grow up, and I kept telling her it happens to everyone, but I thought the biggest thing threatening to bring the end of childhood would be the onset of puberty....  I never thought my girl would have to deal with such big issues so soon in life, and I am so proud of how strong she is being, and how her first and continuing thought is how she can make her friend feel better, feel happy, even if just for a moment. 

What a wonderful person she is growing up to be, my sweet, kind, loving, feisty, argumentative, creative, all singing, all dancing, Fidgetty Widget xxx

It's been how long!!

Ok, it would seem I have been getting a little lax in my posting. In my defence, I have been taking this day by day with what has been happening with Freyja, and really that, in many ways, defines my life right now.

We have our diagnosis of ADHD, and each day we work around how she is behaving (or not) and figure out how best to do things.

We are still doing the usual stuff, and we have had some lovely (busy) days lately.

Freyja turned 7 years old in April and had a beach party. It was an indoor beach party, in our house, as her birthday is at the beginning of April, and usually that means snow in Calgary, though this year, it was actually quite sunny until the afternoon, with no snow on the ground.

I gave them a bit more free range this year, but maybe I should have kept it more structured, as I think they were wondering what to do for a bit. They had a kids inflatable pool filled with balls instead of water, played a game of marco polo round the living room, and invented their own version of beach volley ball with the beach ball, and later balloons. I got them all a craft to do, a suncatcher which they each painted, though half of them forgot it and I still have them at home, and of course there were the presents and cake.

I have some pictures, but as the girls were all dressed in swimsuits and bikinis, I won't be posting them on here, but there are some pictures of the food and the cake I made!

Not a bad cake considering that the morning of her party she changed her mind about how she wanted it decorated!

May brought us Rosie's second birthday, just a few family friends, but a lovely day nonetheless. It's amazing to see how much she has grown and what a little individual she is already. Freyja was a fab big sister and helped her open up all the presents, then handed out cake to everyone. It's great to see her developing as a big sister.

June was a month of many changes. School ended and summer began. It was also the end of Sparks and the end of routine. Freyja got a fantastic report, which was a boost for all of us. It's been a busy few months, and a hard few months but we are beginning to find our way now, at least I hope so.

I go into more detail about the day to day struggles in my other blog, but the short version is that in April and May we tried a medication and the side effects were awful. It was, bluntly, two months of Hell. We were all at breaking point. We decided to stop it, had two weeks meds free and realized that wasn't working either, so we started on new meds. Three weeks in and things are going pretty good. There are good days and not so good, but none of the extreme stuff. The late nights and lack of structure that summer brings probably doesn't help, but who doesn't struggle to get their 7 year old to bed when the nights are light and the neighborhood kids are still out playing.

For now we will take it day by day and look forward to our vacation and the new school year ahead and all it brings.

I'm a big fat failure .... :-)

At keeping up the blog that is!!  I said in my list of things to do that I must write in my blog at least once a week, and here I am almost 3 weeks later!!  Tut tut!

In all fairness, it has been a busy few weeks.  Work is normally pretty much dead at this time of year, but we had a major stock count and then a batch of orders in so I was kept busy and had no time to blog at work - never have time at home during the week because of kidlets, and we have been busy bees at the weekends.

The first weekend after my last blog we headed out on a drive to the mountains and had a family picnic (can check that off my list then!).  We went to a little place near Banff in the Rockies called Johnson Lake.  Freyja flew her kite that her Grandma bought for her last summer, for the first time poor thing, and we played frisbee, in amongst scoffing fruit, veggies, cheese and juice.

A good time was had by all, the lake was still frozen, though starting to thaw in places, and we saw bear tracks in the snow on the lake edge - fantastic (especially as the bear did not decide to join us for the picnic!).  Afterwards, on the road home, we had to stop for some mountain goats crossing the road, one of whom made a stirling effort to get in my drivers window.  Great fun was had by all!

The following weekend was a big one.  Saturday we went to the Circus!!  It was amazing. Freyja thoroughly enjoyed it - amazingly Rosie did too, even though she's so little, and she stayed awake all through it.  Freyja and I even took a ride on the elephant at the intermission in the middle - I nearly dislocated a hip getting on there but it was worth it!  It was a late night for the kids, not getting to bed until 10pm, and then they were rudely awakened at 6.30am as it was MOTHER'S DAY!!  But not just any mothers day.  This one was extra special as it was also our baby girls FIRST BIRTHDAY!!!   Yay!!

We went and did the 5km Mothers Day Walk (with Rosie in the stroller and Freyja in the wagon) and afterwards went home and had a lovely birthday tea for Rosie, with her godparents and their daughter J (Freyja's best friend forever!)  I even got a mothers day breakfast - except I had it for supper!!  With the busy day, my darling hubbie couldn't do it earlier, but I still got my treat of Eggs Benedict (Yum!)

This weekend was marginally less eventful (though not much) - Sunday we went to Heritage Park to the A Day Out with Thomas event (thats Thomas the Tank Engine for those not in the know).  It was a sunny warm morning so off we all went in our summer attire, only to find when we got out of the car there that the wind had changed and now it was blowing hard and freezing.....BRRRRR!!!  We still had a good time though.

Even this week we are pushed for time.  Freyja has Sparks on Tuesday nights, Swimming on Wednesday nights and then this Thursday night they are having a MultiCultural Potluck Dinner at her school.  I am making "Singing Hinnies".  I know that the majority of the worlds population will have no idea what the hell they are so I will enlighten you.  We hail from the North East of England.  People from this region have a variety of regional accents and names (people from Newcastle and the area around are Geordies (pronounced Jordys), those from Sunderland (only 15 miles or so away) are Mackems (most people would say they sound the same but actually their accents are different!  A Singing Hinny is also called a Griddle Scone (thats kind of a tea biscuit to you North Americans).

It is a fruit scone that is cooked on a gridle plate rather than in the oven.  The mixture is made softer than the average scone and it stays quite soft and fluffy on the inside while being crisp and brown on the outside.  The name derives (allegedly) from a young girl asking her mother if they were ready yet, and the mother replies, "no, their just singing, hinny"  Hinny is a local dialect word for Honey or sweetheart.  The scones would 'sing' as the butter on the griddle bubbled under the batter and they made a 'singing' sound.  There you go - a cultural lesson for you!!