It is a month almost since I have written anything in this blog, and it has been relatively uneventful except for a certain feeling that I need to put my house in order, so to speak, regarding my own mortality and the consequences of my passing to those around me.
I am not sick (as far as I know) and, touch wood, have no intention of having a nasty accident, but somehow my mind has been turning to the what ifs.
Usually when I scan through the blogs on here, I get 20 quilting pages or 20 Baptist churches. Last time I came on, I got one after another on cancer, sickness, support groups, people who had defeated illness, people who were fighting illness, and in two sad cases, the blogs recording the last months and days of people who in the end lost the battle.
It made me sad and thoughtful at the same time. A year ago, a friends sister went to the doctor with a sore back, thinking she had pulled a muscle or something. She was diagnosed with agressive cancer and died a year later, after having been given only a few months to live. She was 29 when she was diagnosed. She had 4 young children.
So I got to thinking, I am 36 this birthday, so clearly, I can no longer say I am "too young" for it to happen to me. I have 2 young kids and a husband who live with me in Canada while all of our other family members are in the UK. What if...
What if something happened to me? How would Lee manage with the kids? He works shifts so would he have to leave his job to look after them - how would he support them? Who would help him? What about bills and debts?
What if something happened to both of us? Who would the kids go to? Probably my parents, but before they could get to them who would look after them in the short term while my parents made plans to come out to Canada? Would they end up in care until the legalities were sorted out?
We have no wills or life insurance. We don't get regular check ups. I suddenly realised steps need to be taken... and fast.
I am setting up a Will on-line and will get Lee to do the same. We don't need to get a full notorised one as we rent our house and don't really own much, its mainly to ensure the kids stability. We need to get Life insurance arranged asap and both get a medical. And a really important one, we need to make sure our best friends here have the numbers of both of our parents so that if there is an accident, someone can contact them and make arrangements.
I am not someone who fears death, I never have, but I do fear what my parting would do to those around me. I would not like a long, lingering death, but at the same time, if I were able to spend one extra day with my husband and children, would I not fight to do so?
Albert Einstein said "Our death is not an end if we live on in our children and the younger generation. For they are us, our bodies are only wilted leaves on the tree of life." This resonates with me. I have always loved the image of the tree of life. In fact, I have just been creating a family tree for the kids to know their heritage as they grow up, and I have drawn a tree of life image for the background. The drawing is something I would like as a tattoo in time also, with my name and my husbands in the roots, and the kids names among the leaves. My children are my legacy on the world, and I will do my best to teach them the errors of history and the ways to use them for a better future, as any good parent does, but mainly, I hope, I will teach them to love and be loved.
Thursday 23 June 2011
Wednesday 1 June 2011
Here comes the rain again....
Well Annie Lennox is originally from Scotland, land of mist and midges (thats like a mini mosquito if you didn't know) and most of all, rain! Actually, anywhere in the UK is pretty much a land of rain. If you get a dry day back there it is cause for celebration, 2 in a row and people start complaining about a heatwave!
So, it was actually with some enthusiasm that I greeted the rain just over a week ago, on the sunday of our long weekend. I kept up the enthusiasm, to some degree, for a few days, but looking at the clouds outside now, after having endured a week of rain and only 2 days of sun following it, I will happily say "rain, rain, go away".
Being British, you get used to doing "stuff" in the rain. Shopping, Dog walking, Hiking, Camping, Outdoor sports and any places you visit are almost always accompanied by a 'drizzle', 'spitting' 'shower' or more often than not 'downpour'. The words "It's pissing down again" are not uncommon in the Island Nation of Brittania, believe me.
In the stalwart British manner therefore, on Thursday Freyja and I set off for Downtown Calgary and the Children`s Festival in the pouring rain - possibly the worst rain of the whole week. She was away at Sparks camp at the weekend, and the school was taking her to the festival on the Friday, so I decided to make a long weekend of fun for her, kept her off school, took the baby to the dayhome as normal and off we went. It was a lovely day for both of us. It is so rare to have any time for just us two. She gets time with her dad every weekend when he takes her to her dance class, but I almost always have a baby attached, limpet like, to some part of my body, and poor daughter #1 gets left out a bit.
It was fun. We had icecream, we made clay art, we had our faces painted and made a comic book together, she narrated, I drew it (I use the term drew very loosely) and then she coloured it in. We were rained on constantly and the ground beneath our feet splashed and slurped with each step (anyone who has been to a music festival or camping in the UK will be very familiar with this). We went for McDonalds and 'sat-in' (we always get it take out and she always wants to sit in). It was great!! Then in the car on the way home, it started.... the arguing, the whining, the generally being a turd!! At bed time, when it escalated again, I asked her why she was acting that way after such a lovely day out (cue face like Puss in Boots off Shrek) "I wanted it to be just us all the way to bed time but you went and got Rosie back!" Awww! It's hard to be angry when given that as a reason.
So, now the baby is a bit happier being left with her dad, dayhome etc, maybe Freyja and I can schedule in some more girl time outside the house, just the two of us, and maybe that will help bring my smiley girl back.
So, it was actually with some enthusiasm that I greeted the rain just over a week ago, on the sunday of our long weekend. I kept up the enthusiasm, to some degree, for a few days, but looking at the clouds outside now, after having endured a week of rain and only 2 days of sun following it, I will happily say "rain, rain, go away".
Being British, you get used to doing "stuff" in the rain. Shopping, Dog walking, Hiking, Camping, Outdoor sports and any places you visit are almost always accompanied by a 'drizzle', 'spitting' 'shower' or more often than not 'downpour'. The words "It's pissing down again" are not uncommon in the Island Nation of Brittania, believe me.
In the stalwart British manner therefore, on Thursday Freyja and I set off for Downtown Calgary and the Children`s Festival in the pouring rain - possibly the worst rain of the whole week. She was away at Sparks camp at the weekend, and the school was taking her to the festival on the Friday, so I decided to make a long weekend of fun for her, kept her off school, took the baby to the dayhome as normal and off we went. It was a lovely day for both of us. It is so rare to have any time for just us two. She gets time with her dad every weekend when he takes her to her dance class, but I almost always have a baby attached, limpet like, to some part of my body, and poor daughter #1 gets left out a bit.
It was fun. We had icecream, we made clay art, we had our faces painted and made a comic book together, she narrated, I drew it (I use the term drew very loosely) and then she coloured it in. We were rained on constantly and the ground beneath our feet splashed and slurped with each step (anyone who has been to a music festival or camping in the UK will be very familiar with this). We went for McDonalds and 'sat-in' (we always get it take out and she always wants to sit in). It was great!! Then in the car on the way home, it started.... the arguing, the whining, the generally being a turd!! At bed time, when it escalated again, I asked her why she was acting that way after such a lovely day out (cue face like Puss in Boots off Shrek) "I wanted it to be just us all the way to bed time but you went and got Rosie back!" Awww! It's hard to be angry when given that as a reason.
So, now the baby is a bit happier being left with her dad, dayhome etc, maybe Freyja and I can schedule in some more girl time outside the house, just the two of us, and maybe that will help bring my smiley girl back.
So how is that To Do list coming along???
Well it is a full month since I made my list, and the first thing I have realised is that it is not a list of 50 things, its 55 things. Maybe I should add number 56. Learn to count....
And so, I am going to cut and paste this to the top at the beginning of every month so I can log what I have actually done and not forget about it.
So here we have the updates for month # 1 - Not too bad if I say so myself.
Projects
1. Paint Dining Table and Chairs
2. Sew and repair all items in the sewing basket that have now been waiting over a year!
3. Paint Playroom with Mural
4. Scan old photos and put some on Facebook
5. Put all photos into new albums and only keep the good ones! Started on this but have so many photos I think it will take the full 500 days!!
6. Finish embroidery on Sparks bag for Freyja
7. Make personalised crossstitch item for both girls in time for christmas 2011
Kids
8. Finish Baby Book for Freyja (now 6 years old)
9. Get Baby Book up to date for Rosie
10. Create Family Tree for kids
11. Finish 1st Year Photos for Rosie
12. Make a Fairy house for the girls in the garden
13. Spend a Mom day with Freyja getting hair done / Nails done without baby coming too. We did spend a day, just us at the Childrens Festival, but I think I'll keep this on the list to have a real girlie day.
14. Volunteer for a day (maybe Thanksgiving) with Freyja to teach her how fortunate she is.
14. Volunteer for a day (maybe Thanksgiving) with Freyja to teach her how fortunate she is.
Health & Fitness
15. Get weight down below 170 lbs (Was over 200 when I went in to have Rosie)
16. Run a 5K - Signed up for May 8th! Well, didn't run exactly, walked it with hubbie. He pulled F.H. in the wagon and I pushed L.R. in the stroller. Because of that we had to be in the stroller bit and its difficult to pick up much speed there. Did it in an hour though so not too bad considering.
17. Run a 10K - August or November depending on how long it takes to get fitness level up.
18. Incorporate fruit or vegetables into Lunch and Dinner every day for 2 weeks to get into the habit - hopefully then I'll keep doing it.
18. Incorporate fruit or vegetables into Lunch and Dinner every day for 2 weeks to get into the habit - hopefully then I'll keep doing it.
19. Don't eat chocolate or ice cream for a month (now this one will be hard!)
20. Get up to running 2 km instead of just walking and alternate running and walking up to 10km
21. Take a Belly Dancing or Pole Dancing class
Family
22. Go on a family vacation (at least twice/yr.)
23. Take a spontaneous weekend trip to somewhere close
24. Get family pictures taken
24. Get family pictures taken
25. Go on a picnic. We did this with our trip out to Johnson Lake near Banff.
26. Go on a nature trail with kids.
26. Go on a nature trail with kids.
Personal
27. Write in Blog at least once a week. Trying hard to do this now
28. Put together a photo collage for both sets of parents and my grandparents of me, DH and the girls
29. Write a letter to my Dad (He's been waiting a long time for this) Done!!!! Yay - only took 4 years!!
29. Write a letter to my Dad (He's been waiting a long time for this) Done!!!! Yay - only took 4 years!!
30. Write a short childrens story for the girls
31. Finish reading "Pride & Prejudice & Zombies" Still reading
32. Finish the Dragon crossstitch I started when I was 19 (I am now 35 and it will only take a few hours to finish)
33. Get dragon cross stitch framed and put up with pride of place.
32. Finish the Dragon crossstitch I started when I was 19 (I am now 35 and it will only take a few hours to finish)
33. Get dragon cross stitch framed and put up with pride of place.
34. Take a cooking or painting class.
35. Make a will and set up what would happen to kids in W.C.S.
36. Write a letter or make a video for kids for them to have of me if anything happened.
Finance
37. Save some money for a visit back to the UK next year.
38. Save to RESP's for girls (Now set up finally!) I suppose I can consider this done as they are now set up and the saving has begun - just need to up the amount next year when we have a bit more cash on hand.
39. Set up RRSP's for me and DH.
Home & Organization
40. Clean oven every 2 weeks so it doesn't get so horrible
40. Clean oven every 2 weeks so it doesn't get so horrible
41. Set up Chore Chart for me, DH and Freyja so everyone does something to keep on top of things
42. Organize Playroom Done
43. Organize Office Space and get rid of stuff that really is not needed
44. Organize closet and get rid of big clothes so I can't 'grow' back into them. Done some but still have a few more things to get rid of
45. Go through memory boxes and condense them down before they take over the house.
46. Have a Garden Chore chart for the summer / fall
47. Plant seeds for flowers and veggies and grow garden with Freyja
47. Plant seeds for flowers and veggies and grow garden with Freyja
48. Go through house and get rid of EVERYTHING we don't use - if you don't ever use it, you don't need it!
Food
49. Get a Box freezer for the basement
50. Create a 2 week meal planner and use it to shop and cook
51. Create a batch of freezer meals
52. Use herbs and veggies from our own garden and MAKE SURE THEY DON"T DIE!
51. Create a batch of freezer meals
52. Use herbs and veggies from our own garden and MAKE SURE THEY DON"T DIE!
53. Cut out as much processed food as possible
54. Retrain Freyja to eat without the use of Alphagetti, Chicken Nuggets or Ketchup (again this one may prove impossible)
55. Cook a new recipe each week from one of the many cook books we have.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)