Happy Birthday Fidgetty Widget!

When I was pregnant with Freyja, my sister-in-law was expecting at the same time, and the baby who would become Charlotte was known as "Bean".  As "Bean' was no longer a family option for a nickname for our bundle to be, we started calling 'it' "Widget".  This soon became "Fidgetty Widget" as that little baby on board never kept still.  She's been the same ever since.

Today, my little tornado turns 8!  At 4.04pm GMT (9.05am here in Calgary) my little girl moves that step closer to being a woman, and I'm scared!

Its been quite a week in our house, good and also, pretty much as bad as you can get.  At the weekend, she went off to Brownie Camp.  I dropped her off Friday night, and barely managed to get her to stop chatting with her friends long enough to say goodbye to her sister and I, a sign of how grown up and independant she is getting.  When I collected her on Sunday though, I got a huge hug and "I missed you" whispered in my ear.

While she had a great time at camp, impressed the leaders with her enthusiasm and her behaviour, she also missed her family and even had a little cry at night.  While I hate that she was upset, a little part of me is happy that there is enough child in there to still miss a night time hug and kiss.

When she came home on Sunday, she told me how she had been worrying all weekend that I was going and never coming back, that something was going to happen.  Nothing did happen, of course, but my sensitive little girl was maybe picking up something in the cosmos.

On Monday, I got a call from the school asking me to collect Freyja as she was not feeling well.  I left work, went and got her, much to her surprise as she had expected her Daddy, and took her home.  She had a tummy ache that wouldn't go away, so we went through all the questions.  Did you eat your lunch?  Did you eat the fruit or just the bad stuff?  Did you eat properly at camp this weekend?  Did you drink enough water at camp?  How about at school?  Did you go to the bathroom at camp?

The answer to the last question turned out to be 'No" so I figured I had my answer and promptly ordered her to the bathroom with a book to "give it a try".  Success, but still a tummy ache that persisted.  I dutifully set her up in my bed with a glass of water and the TV remote.  I then began making phone calls to find out which of her friends was coming to her party this coming weekend as I hadn't had RSVPs.  "I don't think M is coming" she says as I'm about to call.  I make the call and her Grandma answers, not her Mom, and sure enough M isn't coming.  I tell her she was right.  "I thought she wouldn't because K said today that M's Dad died in a truck accident last week"

Oh My God !!!!!!

There had been a horrific accident involving a tractor trailer on the main route near our home the week before, but it was Easter week, the kids were off school, I hadn't had a chance to read the details and Monday had been their first day back.  I got out my phone, Googled his name, and there it was, an obituary and the date of the crash......

Now I knew why my baby had a tummy ache.  She had been holding that to herself all afternoon, not knowing what to say, or if it was true.  We knew M's dad.  Not well, but enough that he and M's Mom had once come to our house and had food before we all set out Trick or Treating together one Halloween.  We'd see him at school dances and Christmas shows and chat. He was a truly nice, good man, and a wonderful father and husband.

All Monday night, Freyja would ask for hugs and squeeze tightly, she didn't want to go to bed, but finally, after an hour of cajolling, she did and amazingly she slept soundly for a few hours, not waking until around 2am.  I lay with her another hour then, and I am not sure who needed it more, me or her.  She fell asleep again, and slept till morning, waking in that resiliant way that kids do after bad news. 

She went to school Tuesday and I called to tell them we knew what had happened and was told a grief counsellor was going to be with her class that morning.  I wish I'd had one myself as I was a wreck.  We weren't close, but I knew him, I knew the horrible way his life had ended, I knew the confusion and sadness I was feeling were the same feelings my poor girl had, and like me, she was likely imagining "what if it had been her Daddy".

My big girl came home yesterday without mentioning her friend or the grief counsellor, so I mentioned it to her. "Yes" she said "it helped to talk about it. M is coming back to school on Thursday and they said two of her friends should be close to her all the time and go to meet her at the door.  I told them I should be one of them as I have known her longer than anyone, and I knew her Daddy, so I think I will be able to be a good friend and help her feel better."

Only 8 today, off to 'Aggie Days' with the school to see the animals, she will be a kid having fun again, but tomorrow, she will be that mature girl, the shoulder to support her friend.  Saturday, she will be the kid again, enjoying her party, but I know part of her will be thinking about the friend who isn't there, the friend who is at home missing her Daddy. 

My baby isn't a baby any more.  She has kept telling me she didn't want to grow up, and I kept telling her it happens to everyone, but I thought the biggest thing threatening to bring the end of childhood would be the onset of puberty....  I never thought my girl would have to deal with such big issues so soon in life, and I am so proud of how strong she is being, and how her first and continuing thought is how she can make her friend feel better, feel happy, even if just for a moment. 

What a wonderful person she is growing up to be, my sweet, kind, loving, feisty, argumentative, creative, all singing, all dancing, Fidgetty Widget xxx

Don't Panic! Don't Panic! (But I can't help but panic...)

If you ever watched the classic British BBC comedy, ‘Dad’s Army’, you will remember Cpl Jones running around shouting ‘Don’t Panic, Don’t Panic’ every time there was an air raid siren, or any other problem for that matter, being the very definition of panic.

Outwardly, these last few months I have not been any different to usual, but inwardly, I have been very much like Jones of the Home Guard.  The world is changing, and right now, it is becoming an increasingly scary place, not for me as a person, but for me as a parent.

Screw Afghanistan, Iran, Libya and the like (though North Korea scares the crap out of me sometimes for sure), my biggest fear is the good old US of A.

Now I was born and bred in the UK, and I now live in Canada, so why would I be bothered about the USA?  They are our neighbours and friends, right?  Well, yes, they are…. And that is why I am scared….

I would love to take my kids on vacation to the USA, but right now, as a UK citizen, living in Canada, I am worried about getting through border control either way without a barrage of questions, delays and tears (some from the kids, but mainly from me).

But if I get over the border, what then?  My chances of dying increase simply by stepping foot into the United States.  Why?  GUNS!!!

This last year has seen a run of shooting incidents, a mall, a movie theatre, and most terrible, an elementary school.  When I heard about the shootings at the movie theatre and the mall, I was horrified.  So many innocent lives taken from people just going about their daily business just didn’t seem possible, but at the same time a thought goes through your head, “well that is the US for you, free access to guns and a shoot now, talk later mentality”.  There was a certain level of desensitisation, because this has happened before, in other malls, in colleges, in high schools.

But then, just a few days before Christmas, came Sandy Hook….. Elementary school kids, aged 6 and 7, the same age as my eldest girl, shot down in class by a young man who had serious mental health issues, but whose mother had been a survivalist, owning several guns, which she kept at home, where he lived with her.  She died that day, so did her son, all victims in their own ways of a society that has become accepting of gun crime almost as the norm.  This was a quiet town, a town with a friendly neighbourhood, low crime.  This wasn’t big city, gang crime.

It seemed like people all over the USA woke up that day, started to speak up, started to say that enough was enough, and the President, Barack Obama was one of those speaking out.  He was speaking, I believe, more as a father of young girls, than as the President.  He was imagining, as I and countless other parents were, “what if that had been my children”…

Changes were in the air, a new, safer USA was seen in the near future, but here we are, 3 months later, and unbelievably, it seems that the talking is quietening down.  The only people still talking loudly seem to be the NRA.  For those who have been living in a cave or an ashram somewhere, the NRA is the ‘National Rifle Association’, an organisation for those who love all things gun related.  They believe that every American should uphold their “right to bear arms” as the Constitution says.

So why did it take me three months to comment?  Well, Sandy Hook rocked me to my core.  For days I cried at news reports, at Facebook posts, at blog posts, but kept quiet.  I wanted to scream, and I did inwardly.  I cried when I looked at my daughter and her school friends and saw those beautiful children that had been ripped from their families.  I cried when my children opened their gifts on Christmas Day, and thought of those gifts in Sandy Hook that were sitting unopened, the parents who would be trying to hold it together for the siblings of the kids they had lost.  I cried at night when I couldn’t sleep, thinking of the empty beds in those houses, the toys discarded on the floors of those rooms by children rushing out to school that morning.

Why did I comment today? Several things have sparked this in my head again this weekend.  Yesterday, as I sat playing a board game with my eldest girl and my youngest was napping, I had the TV on in the background for a political debate by the contenders for the leadership of the Liberal Party here in Canada.  As I am soon applying for citizenship, I am trying to become more politically aware.  We were enjoying our game and hadn’t noticed the debate end and the news begin.  I looked up from the game while shuffling the cards and saw a news story about a young woman who had been mugged by a boy last week.  The boy appeared to be about 15 years old, and was with another younger boy that she assumed was his brother.  The boy had pulled out what she believed to be a fake gun.  The boy shot at her, grazing her head with a bullet, and shot and killed her young child, a toddler, not much younger than my baby girl.

The shock of this story, the baby being shot, the ‘gunman’ and his accomplice being only children themselves left me breathless, crying, desperate. My daughter broke me from the spell.  She too had looked up and seen my face, looked to the TV, and while the story itself was done, the ticker still showed the details.  She’s a good reader…

She took the remote and said “I think we need to turn this off now”.  She held me close as I cried, asked why I was so sad for people I didn’t know.  I told her that I was sad because the baby had been killed and it made me fear losing one of my own children.  I told her that I was sad because the people who did it were only children themselves.  I told her I was sad because the world was a scary place and I worried for them and their future.

On my way to work today, another spark lit the fire;  A news report on the radio about the NRA dropping flyers in Sandy Hook homes, encouraging people to fight for their right to bear arms.  Dear God, these people just don’t get it do they!!  Really, believe it if you must, but don’t drop flyers in the town which is still in deep grief for their lost children!!

And then I got into work, and there was the last thing to fire it up.  A blog post from one of the ‘crafty moms’ I follow.  You know the ones.  Cute pictures of kids and clothes they have made for them, quilts, recipes etc.  And today was another piece about sewing.  How can sewing get you angry about guns?  Well, today’s piece was “How to make a gun holster for the inside of your safe”.

I’m not talking about a little holster for a handgun here.  I’m talking about a full on piece of organisational kit, covering the entire door of a gun safe.  The safe in question was pictured, a few hand guns, and several rifles, at least one of them high powered, along with the assorted ammunition required to use them.  Well, at least they have a safe for them you may say. 

My argument would be, why should anyone NEED a gun safe that big, containing that many guns, in their bedroom closet (the picture showed it surrounded by hangers of clothing).  If you are a member of a gun club, can you not keep your guns there?  And why does anyone NEED that many guns?

She went through the details of the how to, with pictures, featuring her handy helper, her baby boy, around the same age as the youngster shot and killed last week.  He was sitting in pictures with the fabric laid out, playing with the scraps etc.  Now usually, my biggest worry is that he may stick himself with some of the numerous pins in the fabric, but then there were pictures of the same fabric, in the same place, pinned in the same way, WITH THE GUNS AND CLIPS IN PLACE!!!!  He wasn’t in those pictures, but when you see them in context it is pretty much a reasonable assumption that he was still in the location where she was working.

Now, I understand, you need to see that they fit, but my first thought is “What the f*** Lady!!”

Guns and the US have a long history.  The right to bear arms was important when the Constitution was written.  You needed to be able to defend yourself against invasion by humans or animals in rural and wild regions of a new land.  You had to be ready to bear arms as part of a militia in case of uprising.  They did not, I am sure, envisage the NRA and its requirement 200 years later for people to be allowed to have their own private arsenals of weapons in their homes capable of taking down a small army (or a class of Elementary School children).

I think what concerned me most about that blog post was the first sentence “First off, if you are not a lover of guns, I don't need to hear it... just skip ahead onto the next post or the next blog. Okay? Thanks!”

And that, in a nut shell, is the biggest issue with America and Guns.  Those who see the issue, see the problem and want to make changes are willing to talk about it; are willing to discuss the subject; are willing to compromise to some degree; are willing to listen to the others point of view even when they do not understand it.  But those who are supporters of gun carrying just “don't need to hear it”.  They don’t want to hear what might happen.  They don’t want to hear that maybe next week it will be their baby that they posted pictures of that is killed in the street by a kid with a gun.  They don’t want to hear that maybe in ten or fifteen years, their kid is the one with their face all over the news for having taken the guns from their parents closet gun safe, and shot random people in a mall or a theatre, or shot up a lunch room full of kids at their high school, or walked to the elementary school down the street and taken the lives of a class of innocents because he believed the world was collapsing and he was saving them.

They don’t want to hear it…. Because it might just be true….. Because they might just be wrong….

 

The to-do with To Do lists....

So, I suddenly had a thought today, "I wonder how long I have left to complete that To Do list I posted on her, way back when.  Seems the deadline passed 2 weeks ago, so lets see how I did shall we? (cough, not that well!!)

 

First off, there were 55 things, rather than 50.  And its been 516 days...

 

That should average out at one thing off the list every 9.38 days (thank you trusty calculator!)

 

The list is reposted below and frankly is a sad testament to the ways 'life' gets in the way of, well, 'life'!

 

Red = not done

Orange = started and abandoned half way for no reason other than I am a lazy arse, frantically busy working mom of 2....

Green = done

 

 

By my calculations, they add up to the following

 

Red = 27 (49%)

Orange = 15 (27%)

Green = 13 (24%)

 

So I did only a quarter of things on the list, but I did get another quarter underway.  Half have gone untouched and I notice that most of them are to do with eating habits and fitness (old habits die hard I suppose).

 

Most of the items related to the kids though, are either started or done, as are many of the things around the home.

 

So, I suppose this highlights that I spend more time and energy on my family, kids and home, and less time on me and my health.  Good in some ways. bad in others.

 

So lets see.... it's September 25 today, my 8th wedding anniversary tomorrow, so lets have the anniversary as the new start date and New Years Eve as the end date.  Gives me 97 days to see how many more I can either get underway or completed.

 

Here's hoping....

 

 

 

50 Things to Do in 500 Days
Start: April 27th, 2011
Finish: September 7th, 2012

Projects
1. Paint Dining Table and Chairs
2. Sew and repair all items in the sewing basket that have now been waiting over a year!
3. Paint Playroom with Mural
4. Scan old photos and put some on Facebook
5. Put all photos into new albums and only keep the good ones!
6. Finish embroidery on Sparks bag for Freyja
7. Make personalised crossstitch item for both girls in time for Christmas 2011 FAIL!!!!

Kids

8. Finish Baby Book for Freyja (now 6 years old)

9. Get Baby Book up to date for Rosie
10. Create Family Tree for kids
11. Finish 1st Year Photos for Rosie
12. Make a Fairy house for the girls in the garden
13. Spend a Mom day with Freyja getting hair done / Nails done without baby coming too.
14. Volunteer for a day (maybe Thanksgiving) with Freyja to teach her how fortunate she is.

Health & Fitness

15. Get weight down below 170 lbs (Was over 200 when I went in to have Rosie)
16. Run a 5K - Signed up for May 8th!

17. Run a 10K - August or November depending on how long it takes to get fitness level up.18. Incorporate fruit or vegetables into Lunch and Dinner every day for 2 weeks to get into the habit - hopefully then I'll keep doing it.

19. Don't eat chocolate or ice cream for a month (now this one will be hard!)

20. Get up to running 2 km instead of just walking and alternate running and walking up to 10km

21. Take a Belly Dancing or Pole Dancing class

Family

22. Go on a family vacation (at least twice/yr.)

23. Take a spontaneous weekend trip to somewhere close
24. Get family pictures taken

25. Go on a picnic.
26. Go on a nature trail with kids.

Personal

27. Write in Blog at least once a week.

28. Put together a photo collage for both sets of parents and my grandparents of me, DH and the girls
29. Write a letter to my Dad (He's been waiting a long time for this)
30. Write a short childrens story for the girls
31. Finish reading "Pride & Prejudice & Zombies"
32. Finish the Dragon crossstitch I started when I was 19 (I am now 35 and it will only take a few hours to finish)
33. Get dragon cross stitch framed and put up with pride of place.
34. Take a cooking or painting class.
35. Make a will and set up what would happen to kids in W.C.S.
36. Write a letter or make a video for kids for them to have of me if anything happened.

Finance

37. Save some money for a visit back to the UK next year.

38. Save to RESP's for girls (Now set up finally!)

39. Set up RRSP's for me and DH.

Home & Organization
40. Clean oven every 2 weeks so it doesn't get so horrible

41. Set up Chore Chart for me, DH and Freyja so everyone does something to keep on top of things
42. Organize Playroom
43. Organize Office Space and get rid of stuff that really is not needed
44. Organize closet and get rid of big clothes so I can't 'grow' back into them.
45. Go through memory boxes and condense them down before they take over the house.
46. Have a Garden Chore chart for the summer / fall
47. Plant seeds for flowers and veggies and grow garden with Freyja
48. Go through house and get rid of EVERYTHING we don't use - if you don't ever use it, you don't need it!

Food

49. Get a Box freezer for the basement

50. Create a 2 week meal planner and use it to shop and cook
51. Create a batch of freezer meals
52. Use herbs and veggies from our own garden and MAKE SURE THEY DON"T DIE!

53. Cut out as much processed food as possible

54. Retrain Freyja to eat without the use of Alphagetti, Chicken Nuggets or Ketchup (again this one may prove impossible)

55. Cook a new recipe each week from one of the many cook books we have.

My name is Lisa and it has been 3 months since my last confession...

Well, pretty much three months and a blog and confession are so similar in my mind, cathartic ways of cleansing the mind and soul so you can continue on without necessarily forgetting, but without the excess baggage of guilt, worry, emotion dragging along with you daily.

It has been a busy three months in our household.  Christmas came and went with a great deal of screaming, squealing and throwing of wrapping paper.  And that was just me and Lee....  The kids enjoyed it too!

The new year rushed in where angels fear to tread (look at me mixing up my similies with nary a care! Or should that be metaphor?  Maybe a mixed one?)  New Years day was my beloved husband's 40th Birthday!!! We celebrated with a family dinner and a cake that looked like Boba Fett's helmet (and if I do say so myself, I didn't do too bad a job on it!)

Well anyway, we got into January and headed through it far to fast for my liking, though with not much snow, which in Calgary in winter is a blessing (though a curse for the farmers when spring and summer roll around).  Bizarely its been snowing up a storm in the UK and the rest of Europe with temperatures plummeting, while I have been waltzing around in a shirt and light jacket.  Mother Nature is having a bit of a lark this year I think.

February brought Valentine's day, hearts wherever you looked, which was a bit of an omen as it turned out as Lee got taken into hospital from work one day with a suspected Heart Attack. Yes, my only recently turned 40 valentine was given aspirin, nitro-spray and a referral to a cardiologist.  Happy Valentines!!

He had the cardiologist appointment yesterday.  Thankfully (after 2 weeks of near endless panicking and little sleep on my part - oh how much better he coped than me) he was given the all clear.  Heart good, Blood pressure good, cholesterol and blood sugar amazingly good.  But - told to stop smoking (again) and lose weight.  Apparently the tablets he takes for stress may be acting less effectively, hence allowing him to feel like he is having a heart attack when he is under stress.

Which brings us to the most recent thing.  Our eldest daughter, the fabulous tornado in a tutu, Freyja is having more and more issues with behaviour and anger, so I finally admitted that we were not coping so well by ourselves and we needed help - especially in light of Lee's stress issues.  I duly made an appointment with our family doctor to explain my concerns, her anger, her nightmares, her ADHD like tendencies and he refered us to the relevant department who in turn referred us to the Paediatric Behavioural Development Clininc yesterday telling us it would be a 10 week or so wait to hear.  Today I got a call from them and appointment on Monday (today is Thursday).  They actually wanted to give us an appointment tomorrow but our work couldn't do such short notice!  I don't know whether to be pleased or worried - do they think its so bad they need to rush her in?

So anyway, to keep my mind clear on that score, I have started another blog http://the-defiant-ones.blogspot.com/ to remind us where our journey began and find out where it takes us, and for Freyja to hopefully look back on it with pride in the future at what she overcame, and for us as parents to perhaps look back, make a sigh of relief and take pride in what we survived....

And last, but hopefully not least, in my ongoing effort to get fitter, lose weight and support Lee in his efforts to do so too, I have joined a gym and will be starting a blog on that too to track my progress and inspire me to keep going.  Happy March 1st - hopefully the beginning of good things to come - even if it is a bit overwhelming at the moment!

Halloween, Sparks camp and such

Well, here we are about to embark on December and we woke up to snow this morning.  Surprisingly, we haven't had much of the white stuff in October and November, so the activities mentioned in this post took place in relative comfort and little snow (even if it was a bit chilly) - a nice change from the usual Calgary weather.

So first we had Halloween.  Now Freyja had many outfits this year - a witch for the Sparks trip to the Corn Maze, a cat for the school party, a zombie for the Sparks party and a poodle for Halloween itself (have I mentioned she is going to grow up 'High Maintenance'?).  The cat and the zombie were her costumes from last year and the year before which I had made roomy in the hope they would last a few years - good decision!  This years poodle ourfit really just consisted of some pink pants and a pink woolly sweater to keep her warm out on the cold streets, along with some ears, tail and poofy poodly bits fashioned from socks, pink bath scrunchies and wire coat hangers (I grew up watching Blue Peter in the UK - you can make anything out of nothing if you really try!!)  I think she looks darned cute - what do you think?

 

I made a bit of an effort this year at decorating the yard for Halloween, though still trying not to spend much cash.  Our old moving boxes got turned into grave stones, and all in all looked fairly spooky for the kids coming round trick or treating.  The one eyed alien pumpkin was Freyja's design - we even made it so it was eating a baby pumpkin!

Rosie was just a little baby at Halloween last year, and though she went out with us this year, I don't think she was old enough yet to appreciate it.  She was still in her stroller, and rather cold, and really did not like being in her unicorn outfit, so sadly no pictures of her - but she did seem happy when she got home.  

Just after Halloween was Sparks camp.  Last year Freyja had a great time off for the weekend with the girls in her troupe.  This year it was a Moms and Daughters weekend.  Now I have not slept in a dormitory with other people since school so it was a bit of an experience, but it was much needed time for Freyja and I to reconnect and have time without her little sister being there.  Freyja has been a bit difficult due to jealousy and this really seemed to help her understand that I do still love her, she just has to share my time.  The picture here is her Sparks leader "Angel' surrounded by some of the girls, shortly before they tackled her to the floor with no mercy - They are a rough lot these Sparks!

Rosie was left with Lee for the weekend, and they needed time alone together just as much as Freyja and I.  Rosie has always been quite clingy to me, but she had a great time with Lee and has been a changed girl for him.  She lets him do bed time without a fuss, I can leave the house without it being the end of the world, and best yet, we had a night out and she didn't send the babysitter demented!!

The night out was for Lee's work Christmas party.  I bought a 1950's style dress, so thought I would do my hair and make up in a similar pin-up way.  We have my christmas work party this weekend so I can try to get the look better for that (the dress was costly by my standards so I want to get maximum use from it this season!)    Sadly, the party took place as I was getting better from 2 weeks of being off work sick with a chest infection that set off an asthma reaction, so I didn't really do anything of any interest in those weeks, just a lot of sofa time!

And as an end, I will leave you with a couple more very cute pictures of my lovely girls!

Holy Brrrr Batman!! It's cold out there!

In the 5 weeks or so since my last post (I know, I know, I'm crap aren't I!!) it has changed from sunny days at the waterpark to chill winds and autumn colours.  Yes, it is officially Autumn / Fall in Calgary.

My tree looked beautiful yesterday morning, all reds, golds and oranges. 

By last night, it was naked, almost embarrassed looking!  My fake cobwebs, lovingly and perfectly draped by Freyja about the tree and shrubbery acted as a magnet to all the falling leaves and now look like some abstract art installation piece - not exactly scary for Halloween.

And what has happened in the last 5 weeks you may ask!  Well, on a global scale, much of the same, economic crisis, political crisis and still no apparent world peace (much to the upset of Beauty Queens everywhere) but on a more personal scale, quite a lot has occurred.

     Firstly, we had a return to school by my eldest daughter.  This was quite momentous for us, as she had her Kindergarten year in a different school doing French immersion, and it wasn't really working out as we had hoped.  This year, she is attending a school just 5 minutes walk from our house, and the dayhome we use is just over the school field, so in the morning I drop Freyja and Rosie at the dayhome, with the fabulous Margie who they both love, and then Freyja walks across to the school with another of the dayhome kids.  Her dayhome friend, N,  also has a little brother, D,  at the dayhome who stays there with Rosie through the day.

The change has been great.  Last year, she would come home from school and not remember a thing she had done all day - this year you can't shut her up about what she has done / learned.  Last year she didn't really like her teacher, this year her new teacher is the best in the world (Thank you Mrs V!)  and her reading skills are just coming on in leaps and bounds, as is her confidence and her ability to make new friends.

She went back to Sparks too, and joined Musical Theatre classes.  As a bonus, one of her Sparks friends is in her Grade 1 class and her Musical Theatre class.  They are now great buddies and all set for a sleep over at our house this weekend.

Talking of sleepovers and Sparks, Freyja and I are off to the Mother/Daughter camp in 10 days!  Lee is having Rosie at home, and it will be his first time overnight with her - actually right through the weekend!  She is such a mamma's girl and forever pushing away Lee, so I think this weekend is going to be just what we all need.  Rosie needs some time with Daddy so she can realise that he can kiss those booboo's better too, and Daddy needs to have Rosie time, poor thing hasn't had much of a look in so far.

The other thing about the sleepover is that Freyja will get my attention for 2 whole days with no baby sister to interrupt.  Her behaviour with me (and only me) has been getting progressively worse and its pretty much all down to jealousy I think.  This weekend is going to be a big help to that I hope.

My other big thing is that I am now officially an Avon lady!  I have been wanting to start my own business in some way for a long time but didn't have the money to do it.  Avon allows me to try it out and see if I can juggle two kids, activities and a full time job, and still get my chores done as well as the business.  So far, the Avon is doing OK, as I build up my customer base, but the chores are falling by the wayside.  Lee is doing his share and more and I feel like I am getting nothing done and am spreading myself just a little too thin.  Other mothers manage all this, so why can't I???  I am hoping that with a bit of practice, it will all come together, as any extra money I make would be very helpful (I need to pay for my citizenship application!) but if it ends up being too much, I know what has to give.

Today is the financial year end at work, normally my busiest day of the year, but rather than leaving it to the last minute as usual, this year we have been more proactive and the counting has been done over and over this last month, to the point where pretty much all discrepancies were cleared up.  As a consequence, I am sitting here at work with nothing better to do than balance the payroll hours, and update this blog......  I am getting fidgety though - there has to be something to correct surely!!

Last night was Freyja's first school dance (for Halloween - now only a few days away), and she also lost her first (and second) tooth this month.  Her adult ones are in already - no unsightly gaps for her (apart from the gap she has had since she knocked the top tooth out a week before her third birthday!!  That will be a gap for a good time yet apparently!) 

This has all been about Freyja, so what about Rosie......

She changes so much ever day, it's easy not to even notice, until one day you look and your baby isn't a baby any more.

She's 18 months old, and although she still isn't really talking (just 3 or 4 words that you have to already know what she's saying to understand) she sure understands us.  Give her some instructions and away she goes (maybe her big sister could learn some pointers there!)  She's bright and inquisitive and becoming very independent.

I'm not allowed to even try to feed her any more, if it can't be eaten independently, the it won't be eaten.

And she's all for trying out new things - in the manner of all children, sometimes the box is better than the toy that came in it too!

She loves anything and everything Dora, and will scream herself hoarse from the moment she is strapped in the van until the moment I start the engine so the DVD player comes on... Dora, Dora, Dora the Explorer..... Boots and super cool Explorer Dora!!

But most of all, she loves her sister.  Freyja doesn't yet understand how much, but my little independent girl is trying so hard to be just like my big little independent girl.  They are so alike in so many ways, and yet, at the same time, so individual. 


Oh, and one last thing has happened since my last post....

I completed the Run for the Cure.  5km in just under 45 minutes.  I was very proud to reach my goal, and even prouder to have taken part and have my family there to cheer me on, so here are a few pictures of that to finish off!

 

Stop being a crazy lady and pull it together!!

That's what I've told myself, and that's what I've done.

I am no longer feeling like The End of (My) World is Nigh!  Actually, I'm feeling pretty good.

I got my blood tests done yesterday and my ultrasounds are in the morning.  Someone I know mentioned the symptoms I had sounded like Endometriosis, so, yes, I went back to the dreaded Internet, but with an actual affliction in mind you get so much more reliable results.  Looking at the symptoms, I think my friend was bang on in her diagnosis.  It sounds like symptoms I've been having since I was a teen, just that they have gotten progressively worse until I am at this point and in pain most days.  The thing is, whilst it's painful, and damned annoying, it is in no way life threatening.  So, while the Doc still needs to do his diagnosis and agree with this, I am feeling in a more positive frame of mind, because it is something I can again have control over.

Because of my little panic, and my current sunnier mindset, I have been reminded of just how much I adore my darling hubby and our beautiful daughters, and consequently I have been making the most of my spare time with the kids.  The house perpetually looks like a bomb site (hopefully no visitors will come!) but I had a lovely weekend at the splash park on Saturday and a classic car show on Sunday with my girls.  Fun was had and quality time was spent.  Monday, Freyja wanted to head to the park in the evening.  Usually I am full of excuses, it's too hot, too cold, too windy, too rainy, too late etc.  But Monday, I moved my lazy arse, and off we went.  It was lovely!  Sure, my own personal ground zero awaited me at home (it still does incidentally) but hell, there are always more dishes to clean, clothes to wash, floors to sweep, but how many precious moments of childhood are there remaining.  They tick by so fast, we need to grab them with both hands, capture memories on film and enjoy each precious second.... And then embarrass them with the photographic evidence when they are teenagers!!! :-)