Wedding memories

So, I am member of a Moms forum online, based here in Calgary (www.calgarymomscommunity.com if anyone wants to check it out) and someone asked the question today about weddings. What do you remember, where, when, who etc, the good and the bad, and frankly I just remember too much for a teensy little forum post, so decided I would post here. It will serve as a reminder to me and as a story for my kids.

Lee and I got married in Langley Castle back in England. It was a medieval border fort so really consists of only a couple of 'rooms' on each of three floors. Our wedding was in the room on the first floor, our wedding night suite was on the second floor, and the reception room was on the top floor.

The wedding was done to a medieval theme to match the location, dress was flowy, medieval type design with long draped sleeves etc. My mother also wore a similar style dress but in a tie dyed purple velvet. We had medieval music at the ceremony and in the background at the reception.
Despite being such a formal venue, and having 70 people there, it was so laid back and relaxed.

The night before my parents and grandparents, my maid of honour and I stayed at a nearby B&B.

Memorable moments (Imagine Mr Bean gets married at Fawlty Towers and you may have something akin to the catalogue of disasters that was our wedding):

• My wedding fell on the same weekend as the annual half marathon in our region so by the time my bridesmaid and I made it out to the countryside in the traffic it was dark.  When we got to the area where the B&B was we got lost. By the time we got there, dinner had finished so all we could have was a grilled cheese sandwich. Get our room to find out that it is not a twin after all and me and my bridesmaid have to share a bed! Not really conducive to a restful night. I felt like I was 8 again and spent the night giggling and reminiscing.
• Morning of the wedding got up to find the breakfast room full of runners and their supporters so had to wait an hour to be seated. Just got my breakfast on the table when my hairdresser turned up so she started on my mother and grandmother first. Finally finished breakfast and rushed to get my hair done where my mother started to fluster. I love her dearly, but she gets stressed out and flustered at events, and my wedding was a BIG event for her so I think she started to fluster the minute she woke up!
• Me driving to the castle in my car in the drivers seat with jeans, a shirt and a veil on as my hair was done, but the tiara kept hitting the roof of my tiny car so my bridesmaid was changing gear for me while I was ducking and holding it in place - everyone shout CHANGE!!
• Me getting annoyed at my mother while I was getting dressed at the castle because she was getting flustered and hot and her makeup was running so she took my makeup while I was getting ready, and then asked me to do her eyes for her - lovely photo taken at that point by the wedding photographer of my being fastened into my dress by my bridesmaid and me looking so grumpy.
• My Dad takes my Mum and leaves me to finish getting ready. At this point she apparently walks past my very nervous groom, he says 'Hi Ann, hows it going?' - She replies "I don't know if there'll even be a wedding at this rate!" and walks away. Cue panicking groom who now thinks he's being stood up (she still denies to this day that she said it, however, I know my mother.... she said it without even realising - Lord, I love her)
• Wedding time arrives and my dad walks me slowly down the stairs, waits at the door to the wedding room, smiles at me and squeezes my hand with tears in his eyes, the doors open... and I am jet propelled, warp speed down the aisle to my waiting groom with a speed that implies he couldn't wait to offload me - he was also very nervous!
• The wedding passes in a haze of vows and stuff I can barely remember, and sadly, the video recorded by my brother in law does not help in this, as he stood in the worst possible place, where you can hear shuffling, whispering and coughing of the wedding guests, and pretty much nothing of me and Lee.
• On to the photos - the photographer takes what seems like a million photos of me (have I mentioned I was 3 months pregnant, in a full length dress, on a September day that was pretty warm, and I had been experiencing dizzy fainting fits in the weeks running up to the wedding) so it felt like an eternity. Also I hadn't eaten for hours and really hadn't managed much breakfast due to nerves and wanting to rush for the hairdresser.
• Speaking of food, it's time for the photos with the groom and best man. Where are they? Oh there they are, demolishing an entire tray of canapés. I'm a bit peckish myself, could I have some? Oh, I see, there's none left! Grrrrr!!
• On to the wider family shots. Where is Lee's Uncle, Aunt and Cousin (plus one)? Anyone? No one remembers seeing them? Oh, so they didn't turn up then.... CRAP!!!! I have a seating plan with all four of them on one table with another couple - now that couple are going to be seated alone.... CRAP!!!!
• Finish photos, smile at guests, shake hands, invite them to take a glass of champagne, excuse yourself from company, hitch up dress and leg it up 2 flights of uneven stone stairs to the function room at the top. Re-write part of seating plan, move name place markers and find staff to remove 4 chairs so it looks like it hasn't all been screwed up. Hitch up dress and leg it back down one floor to the suite so I can go to the bathroom (after all I am 3 months pregnant and it is nearly 2 hours since I had a chance to pee - though due to the lack of food and drink anyone (did not) think to get me, I am also not exactly hydrated. Hitch up dress and leg it back down one more flight of stairs to guests just in time to hear the call for everyone to go upstairs for the reception meal.  Use walking up stairs with my Grandad as the decoy for the fact I am too breathless to head up faster.
• Everyone sits down to a lovely meal and quaffs champagne (except me, as I am 3 months pregnant and my sister in law who is about 6 months pregnant) especially the groom who is getting lightly toasted by my side. We giggle as we watch Lee's son Dan, then only a young lad of 12 push the barley in the broth up the side of the bowl and attempt to eat around it - he has no idea what it is, and therefore we are clearly trying to poison him!
• The meal ends, everyone is full and happy, and mostly brimming with joy and alcohol. The speeches begin. The best man makes a lovely speech, which I can remember none of, but manages not to mention anything embarrassing or illegal about my new husband in front of my grandparents (huge sigh of relief!) Then my dad gets up. My Dads speech makes me cry. He tells a story I had never heard of when I was born. I was 6 weeks early, tiny and sick in an incubator and he and my Mum had been told I likely wouldn't make it. He said he put his hand in the incubator and my tiny hand gripped his little finger with incredible force and he knew I would make it. He said I was a fighter, determined and fierce, and that no one would guess that day what I had been through. I cried. Dad cried. I think everyone shed a tear. Sadly, I was so much of a mess after that, I didn't really hear Lee's speech, though he was so nervous it was very short and consisted mainly of thank yous to best man, bridesmaid, family etc. We cut the cake and that was pretty much that for the day time.
• Downstairs a vintage Rolls Royce awaited Lee and I, and a coach tour bus waited for the guests. We all hopped in and made the half hour journey to the city of Newcastle where the night time event was held. The coach got there first, followed by me and a wobbly Lee in the car (there was a bottle of champagne in the car and he was drinking for two with me being pregnant).
• Into the hotel lobby to be greeted by my flustered mother saying that one of our family friends had not been given the disabled room, so I apologise to my family and friends, send them through to the function room (which it turns out they are still setting up) and go to the reception desk to raise merry hell and get my guest's bedroom issue sorted.
• Next stop, the function where people ate, drank, ate some more, drank some more, drank a little too much and the dancing began, mainly a highland fling performed by the 2 Scottish gentlemen who were guests (one Rangers supporter, and one Celtic and they both survived the evening with teeth intact and happy memories) and a Pub Quiz which was, in hindsight, probably best not run by the best man who was now inebriated and chuckling over each of the completely incomprehensible questions.
• Lee and I at this point departed quietly and climbed into our limo back to the castle, in which there was another bottle of champagne. Hurrah!! Hubby drinks for 2 again until we arrive at the castle where we pour him out and I walk him upstairs.
• We decide to take a bath, which is enormous and big enough for about 6 people, thankfully though there are just the 2 of us, I put a little bubble bath in and get in, lay back and relax, new hubby gets in, slips (on the bubble bath he says, nothing to do with the 4 bottles of champagne that have come his way that day, not to mention the beer) and whoosh, down like a sack of potatoes, water flying and me trying to drag him out from under the water before he drowns. Bath is abandoned and we adjourn to the wonderful, enormous and comfortable bed - maybe a bit too comfortable, as we were both asleep in minutes.
• We wake up in the morning and start to pack up our things, though it is still very early, and dark. The room has the arrow slit windows that most functioning castles had, so the source of all indoor illumination is electric light. Lee goes into the bathroom, switches on the lights and bam! shorts the electrics in the whole castle. No light, nothing!!! Arrrggghhhh!
• We dress in the dimly lit bedroom as dawn allows a teeny bit of sunlight into the room and head downstairs only to find there are no staff. By the time someone arrives, we have everything packed and in the car and are patiently awaiting breakfast and electric light, not necessarily in that order. Turns out the receptionist got a ride to work with the chef, who that morning happened to sleep in.

Funnily enough, while I remember every single one of those things that did not go according to plan, all my guests were amazed by what a good day it was. I was asked if I had used a wedding planner, told I should become one when they were told I did it myself. Told how wonderful it was and how they had never been to a wedding that went off without a hitch before.... Had we been at the same wedding???

And now, Lee and I find that all those things that 'went wrong' were actually what made the day so memorable and fun to remember. So while it did not quite follow the plan, I wouldn't change it in any way.... well, maybe we'd hire a professional for the video so we could remember the actual 'Wedding' part!!!

Holy Brrrr Batman!! It's cold out there!

In the 5 weeks or so since my last post (I know, I know, I'm crap aren't I!!) it has changed from sunny days at the waterpark to chill winds and autumn colours.  Yes, it is officially Autumn / Fall in Calgary.

My tree looked beautiful yesterday morning, all reds, golds and oranges. 

By last night, it was naked, almost embarrassed looking!  My fake cobwebs, lovingly and perfectly draped by Freyja about the tree and shrubbery acted as a magnet to all the falling leaves and now look like some abstract art installation piece - not exactly scary for Halloween.

And what has happened in the last 5 weeks you may ask!  Well, on a global scale, much of the same, economic crisis, political crisis and still no apparent world peace (much to the upset of Beauty Queens everywhere) but on a more personal scale, quite a lot has occurred.

     Firstly, we had a return to school by my eldest daughter.  This was quite momentous for us, as she had her Kindergarten year in a different school doing French immersion, and it wasn't really working out as we had hoped.  This year, she is attending a school just 5 minutes walk from our house, and the dayhome we use is just over the school field, so in the morning I drop Freyja and Rosie at the dayhome, with the fabulous Margie who they both love, and then Freyja walks across to the school with another of the dayhome kids.  Her dayhome friend, N,  also has a little brother, D,  at the dayhome who stays there with Rosie through the day.

The change has been great.  Last year, she would come home from school and not remember a thing she had done all day - this year you can't shut her up about what she has done / learned.  Last year she didn't really like her teacher, this year her new teacher is the best in the world (Thank you Mrs V!)  and her reading skills are just coming on in leaps and bounds, as is her confidence and her ability to make new friends.

She went back to Sparks too, and joined Musical Theatre classes.  As a bonus, one of her Sparks friends is in her Grade 1 class and her Musical Theatre class.  They are now great buddies and all set for a sleep over at our house this weekend.

Talking of sleepovers and Sparks, Freyja and I are off to the Mother/Daughter camp in 10 days!  Lee is having Rosie at home, and it will be his first time overnight with her - actually right through the weekend!  She is such a mamma's girl and forever pushing away Lee, so I think this weekend is going to be just what we all need.  Rosie needs some time with Daddy so she can realise that he can kiss those booboo's better too, and Daddy needs to have Rosie time, poor thing hasn't had much of a look in so far.

The other thing about the sleepover is that Freyja will get my attention for 2 whole days with no baby sister to interrupt.  Her behaviour with me (and only me) has been getting progressively worse and its pretty much all down to jealousy I think.  This weekend is going to be a big help to that I hope.

My other big thing is that I am now officially an Avon lady!  I have been wanting to start my own business in some way for a long time but didn't have the money to do it.  Avon allows me to try it out and see if I can juggle two kids, activities and a full time job, and still get my chores done as well as the business.  So far, the Avon is doing OK, as I build up my customer base, but the chores are falling by the wayside.  Lee is doing his share and more and I feel like I am getting nothing done and am spreading myself just a little too thin.  Other mothers manage all this, so why can't I???  I am hoping that with a bit of practice, it will all come together, as any extra money I make would be very helpful (I need to pay for my citizenship application!) but if it ends up being too much, I know what has to give.

Today is the financial year end at work, normally my busiest day of the year, but rather than leaving it to the last minute as usual, this year we have been more proactive and the counting has been done over and over this last month, to the point where pretty much all discrepancies were cleared up.  As a consequence, I am sitting here at work with nothing better to do than balance the payroll hours, and update this blog......  I am getting fidgety though - there has to be something to correct surely!!

Last night was Freyja's first school dance (for Halloween - now only a few days away), and she also lost her first (and second) tooth this month.  Her adult ones are in already - no unsightly gaps for her (apart from the gap she has had since she knocked the top tooth out a week before her third birthday!!  That will be a gap for a good time yet apparently!) 

This has all been about Freyja, so what about Rosie......

She changes so much ever day, it's easy not to even notice, until one day you look and your baby isn't a baby any more.

She's 18 months old, and although she still isn't really talking (just 3 or 4 words that you have to already know what she's saying to understand) she sure understands us.  Give her some instructions and away she goes (maybe her big sister could learn some pointers there!)  She's bright and inquisitive and becoming very independent.

I'm not allowed to even try to feed her any more, if it can't be eaten independently, the it won't be eaten.

And she's all for trying out new things - in the manner of all children, sometimes the box is better than the toy that came in it too!

She loves anything and everything Dora, and will scream herself hoarse from the moment she is strapped in the van until the moment I start the engine so the DVD player comes on... Dora, Dora, Dora the Explorer..... Boots and super cool Explorer Dora!!

But most of all, she loves her sister.  Freyja doesn't yet understand how much, but my little independent girl is trying so hard to be just like my big little independent girl.  They are so alike in so many ways, and yet, at the same time, so individual. 


Oh, and one last thing has happened since my last post....

I completed the Run for the Cure.  5km in just under 45 minutes.  I was very proud to reach my goal, and even prouder to have taken part and have my family there to cheer me on, so here are a few pictures of that to finish off!

 

Stop being a crazy lady and pull it together!!

That's what I've told myself, and that's what I've done.

I am no longer feeling like The End of (My) World is Nigh!  Actually, I'm feeling pretty good.

I got my blood tests done yesterday and my ultrasounds are in the morning.  Someone I know mentioned the symptoms I had sounded like Endometriosis, so, yes, I went back to the dreaded Internet, but with an actual affliction in mind you get so much more reliable results.  Looking at the symptoms, I think my friend was bang on in her diagnosis.  It sounds like symptoms I've been having since I was a teen, just that they have gotten progressively worse until I am at this point and in pain most days.  The thing is, whilst it's painful, and damned annoying, it is in no way life threatening.  So, while the Doc still needs to do his diagnosis and agree with this, I am feeling in a more positive frame of mind, because it is something I can again have control over.

Because of my little panic, and my current sunnier mindset, I have been reminded of just how much I adore my darling hubby and our beautiful daughters, and consequently I have been making the most of my spare time with the kids.  The house perpetually looks like a bomb site (hopefully no visitors will come!) but I had a lovely weekend at the splash park on Saturday and a classic car show on Sunday with my girls.  Fun was had and quality time was spent.  Monday, Freyja wanted to head to the park in the evening.  Usually I am full of excuses, it's too hot, too cold, too windy, too rainy, too late etc.  But Monday, I moved my lazy arse, and off we went.  It was lovely!  Sure, my own personal ground zero awaited me at home (it still does incidentally) but hell, there are always more dishes to clean, clothes to wash, floors to sweep, but how many precious moments of childhood are there remaining.  They tick by so fast, we need to grab them with both hands, capture memories on film and enjoy each precious second.... And then embarrass them with the photographic evidence when they are teenagers!!! :-)

My name is Lisa and it has been a month since my last confession...

Well, not confession as such, but really, what is a blog if not a chance to expunge our soul and psyche of all the floating doubts and lingering guilt trips that we take ourselves on daily.

Since my last post, the feeling I have had of my own impending mortality has become stronger, and is now accompanied by pain, and lots of it.  What started as a niggle here and a niggle there, has become in a month a mind numbing assault of aches and stabbing sensations everywhere between chest and thigh level.  My whole lower back and abdomen is rebelling against me and I have no idea of the cause, so I am to visit the doctor in a couple of days.

Of course, I did the worst thing any person could do on getting pains, I consulted the internet.... never ever consult the internet with the intention of making a self diagnosis.... you will ALWAYS be dying of cancer!!  ALWAYS!!

Of course, I could be, but that is not the point.  I don't know what it is causing the pains.  It could be kidney stones, ovarian cysts, IBS (otherwise a very bad case of gas!), really any number of things, but of course what it now is, in my head, thanks to the internet, is Ovarian Cancer.  A cancer which kills more than half of the people who get it and therefore my prophetic feelings of doom are coming to pass.

But really, I am trying to talk myself out of this.  There is absolutely no history of cancer in my family, I am 36 so not in the prime age group to get it, I took the combined pill for 10 years which hugely lowers the risk, I have 2 children, both delivered by c-section, the second only being a year ago, so you'd have thought they would have noticed while they were in there if anything was not looking right.

Of course, that always brings up the other option - they left a foreign object in me at the c-section....  again, it has been over a year so probably would have shown up by this point....

The problem is that I do not know what is wrong, and I hate that!  I hate not knowing why something is happening.  I hate not being able to stop it.  I hate having to rely on a doctor to get enough information from my garbled list of symptoms that they will send me for the correct round of tests in order to successfully come to a correct diagnosis.  I hate not being in control.....

I am a control freak.....  there, that is my confession.  My wonderful husband used to call me Monica when we were first living together, after Monica from Friends.  My fridge magnets were symetrical.  My CD's and DVD's were alphabetised, and catalogued, my books were grouped alphabetically, by author and then by date released.....  Yep!  Control freak!

Now, with children (and a husband) in my life, my house is in chaos.  My books, cd's and dvd's are routinely removed from the shelves and strewn about the floor by my one year old.  My 6 year old has claimed most of the fridge magnets and they serve the purpose of displaying her artistic efforts for the viewing public as they pass through my kitchen.

As I worry about my health, I appreciate that chaos more.  We went camping at the weekend and the kids were covered in dirt head to toe from arriving friday to leaving sunday.  My 6 year old got through 6 sets of clothes in 2 days and still came home in dirty ones.  It was wonderful.

This weekend, we have played outside, the girls have had their playpool and ball pit out and I have been trying to find the flower beds under the weeds, and it has been wonderful to watch them play, carefree, dirty, no tv, no computer, just a bit of water, a few toy boats and some plastic balls in an inflatable car.  Last night, we sat and watched the first Harry Potter movie together.  I was nearly sent mad by the "who's he", "what's going to happen". What's going to happen now", What just happened" questioning, but we made it to the end, and she wants to watch the rest with me now - we'll see...  she's only 6 and the early ones aren't to scary but the later ones may just be too much for her I think, she is a delicate girl emotionally.

Today, I am finally getting on with that Will, and trying to up my insurance, just in case, but mainly, I am trying to make memories with my girls.  Whether I die next year or in 50 years, I want to be sure that every day spent with them is not wasted but enjoyed and treasured to the full. What blessings children are.  We see ourselves in their young faces, remember the innocence and joy of our youth and how quickly we wanted to be grown, and now we are, how much we would give to return to those happy easy days of childhood.  I wonder how much they will remember when they are grown, and if they will find the same memories crossing their minds as the splash and play with their own children in their gardens.....  I hope so....